A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall COFFEE HOUSE 2084

It does get so frustrating. Sometimes it makes me feel so disrespected that after I clean all day no one seems to pay any attention to leaving things laying around. I kinda get the feeling like they think it doesn't matter because I don't have anything else to do but clean it back up. I take care of the house all day. Then it's homework, dinner etc until bed time. I would love to have some time for myself. I know that sounds crazy because I'm home all day alone. But that is never 'my' time. That is housework and errand time. My dream is to have a couple hours here and there to be able to sit and have a hobby of some sort.

Oh well, I'll get off of my soap box now....and get back to work on the house.

I know exactly how you feel Rachel! It is the same way at my house. I do work but I know that if I was home all day I wouldn't have any more time to myself! Keeping up with the house and everyone else's schedule is a full time job!

Yep rachel---My DH had me quit a good paying job that I LOVED because if we were gonna have kids then I should be home with them--well fine, I agree with that philosophy if it is a viable idea---but NOW he thinks I should get a job--(after all WHAT do I have to do all day??)---never mind that I can no longer get a job in the original field I was in without going back to school-and at 55 ???--no thank you---

but about not being appreciated?? I can remember walking out of the kitchen at 10:00 at night--everything was done, picked up and clean.--the next morning I get up and it looked like a cyclone had hit it---I knew right then--that no, what I did did not matter.--I guess if we do not get paid it does not matter.

You are right---since we are home, our time does not count--and also I have found if someone does not see me do the work here--I just have well not done it---because I will be treated like I didn't do anything.

OK--Off MY soapbox as well---and back to bookwork---try to have a nice day----

And jessica,--I bet you get to work outside the home AND do all the work you would do if you were at home all the time, right???

and soo still no time for yourself.

it took me YEARS to get everyone resigned to the idea that Carol was not availalbe on Tuesday mornings to do anything for anybody but ME !!!

But I do and I cherish that time to myself--(ceramics) its only 4 hours but it is great.

Maybe that's what I need to do. I need to just designate a certain day and time that is mine. No matter what else needs to be done. That may be the only way I get it. I do have to come up with a plan before summer. Brennan is my messy culprit. He leaves toys and trash everywhere for me to pick up. Whatever he gets out he leaves it when he's done. I've tried so hard to get him in the habit of picking up after himself. This summer will be a mess if I'm just constantly picking up after him. I would much rather use that time for us to have fun. I'm very fortunate to be able to stay at home with him. I want to be able to take as much time as I can with him to do things we wouldn't be able to do if I had to go to work everyday.

I agree I too was very fortunate to be able to stay home and I knew this BUT---

I will tell you---I got some awful looks at first when I would walk out on a messy house to go to ceramics---BUT ---I knew it would all be waiting for me when I got home, so did it matter to anybody if I made it wait???

About Brennan: I got to where I would take stuff I cleaned up from downstairs & just go & drop it in their rooms---OR I would sometimes throw it away after I warned that is what would happen if they did not listen(but your little guy is kinda young for THAT.) For him I would have just "put it up and out of reach" for a set amount of time, as punishment for the not listening.

another thing is when he asks to 'do' something, say either,"well, we could, but I have to stay home & clean up the house" OR say "well we can, but "this' has to be cleaned up first"--then help him but go slow so he 'gets' to do a large portion himself. but keeping his age in mind--little ones will think a small amount of work is more than an older child would.

He needs to actually see what the repercussions of not doing work is and what the rewards are when you do your work. He will see better than he will listen.
been where you are---
( And I hope I did not over step)

You are right Carol! I do work all day and when I get home I do ALL of the housework too. I have tried to get James and Tristen to help but it doesn't work. It gets really frustrating!

Hi all,
Guess I will add my 2 cents worth to the housekeeping discussion- back when I worked and kept house with 3 kids and a hubby to take care of I just made it a rule that if stuff was out in common areas- kitchen living room- family room or a bathrooms, it was fair game for Mom's box- I kept a box in my bedroom and if I had to pick up stuff after a warning or two then they had to do chores to redeem it- even if it was homework or a fav toy- hubby had to do same and even me if they caught something of mine where it didn't belong- didn't take long for them to catch on and they did it from when they were little 4-5 so they will learn... even husbands will.... LOL! As long as you are the only one doing it they will gladly let you... do take some time for yourself.... you need it to be a good wife and Mom.....
Okay off my podium now have some good news about Merme , will post in that thread.
Nana

After John retired he started doing more housework and I did less. The house is much worse than it ever was before. My problem is I work best when I am alone. After retirement, I am seldom alone. And I want to mop and wax and things when no-one is around. And I don't much care for someone telling me HOW to do something. That is enough to make me quit altogether. Hence the state of my house.

yep you should see How my DH does housework, I try to tell him but he only gets mad-----and only in recent years has he stopped telling me I did not need but 1 cleaner---ya know, I do not tell him how to change oil in the cars or how to use his welders, now do I??? OH How I could go on-----

I tell mine to sit down and shut up because all he wants to do is start jobs and not finish them and I have enough to do with out him starting some for me

Holy, there's some bantering today

In for a few .....

Well, got my haircut today.....and I hate it. Guess I'll banter a bit too

I think we all need winter to be over with, and soon.

hi tam how r u?

Hi Scott, I'm good.

Just catching up on todays posts. I've got to go in a few. I have sewing to finish.

how are you?

im good, still having some killer head pain, i dont know whats causing it, maybe i need another sinusitus surgery... I havent even really sewn anything ive only used my machine a couple times, lol me and grammy been soo busy gardening we dont have much time to sew...

Oh i did try siging up for maters gardners class this week but my loacal county extension office when i called said they were full and they only do one class a year so i have to wait till next year glad that theirs no age limit though...

better log off I have homework to do

good answer enrique. you need to keep your grades up

scott, the master gardener's class will be there for you when the time is right for you. you are lucky there is one close.


i've been catching up, but i'm falling asleep on the keyboard, so i'm outta here, good night all!

Enrique--listen well to Jiffy--she is one smart lady. :wink:

Jiffy, sleep well my friend.


I too think I will go to sleep now--nighty night, to all.

Morning, rise and shine. Guess what? Today it's supposed to warm up above the freezing point, woohoo. The sun is already shining.

Well, I see there's no one around to chat with...I'll be back later.

It's snowing hard outside. We're supposed to get 6 inches up to 1 foot!! I haven't seen that much snow in years. I got a call at 7:30 that they were going to dismiss school 2 hours early. I guess I need to get going and get to the grocery store.

Sorry I missed you, Tamara. I'm slow moving this morning. Jonni and Ted are staying home from school today. Jonni is tossing around a low grade flu-type thing and Ted has sniffles. This is much easier for me because I don't have the driving involved with school.
Housecleaning is on my agenda today.

slow moving this morning too, my back is killing me and I woke up with a head ache. I'm hope I'm not getting sick again

Hi all, well I was fast moving for awhile. House is cleaned and mopped and the last load is in the washer. Gotta do dishes in a few.

I woke up in such a good mood and now I feel like my head is gonna explode. I think we all need winter to be over with...and real soon.

DD has been sick for three weeks, the weather has everyone sick it seems.

Morning everyone,
I had plans to clean up house today but woke up with a cold- eyes glues shut,scratchy throat,cough too,so making a pot of tea and going back to bed - sun is out and it is clear but we may get a little more snow today- I am more than ready for spring to be here too- so tired of being cold... have boys later this afternoon and we are going to go to the college to see Timba's art on display- he is so proud of himself , but he says he painted it so long ago- in Oct he can't remember what it looks like...LOL!

Well off to run a hot bath - drink my tea and see if I can scare this cold away...
Nana

Hoping everyone feels better soon

I think too much inside air too, I would feel better planting something

The forecast keeps getting worse and worse. Just a couple of hours ago it was 6-10 inches with a slight possibility of up to 12 inches. Now we are getting atleast 8 inches, probably up to 13 inches!! Brennan is going to have so much fun. I can't believe they haven't sent the kids home yet. I just got back from the grocery. The roads are BAD. If we lived any further away from the school I would go pick him up. There is no way I would let him ride the bus. Luckily we just live right across from the school.

Take a pic for us to see Rachel.

Stay safe in that weather.

I'm excited. It hasn't snowed big here in years. I'll have to take Brennan down the road to go sledding tomorrow. There is a big hill at the entrance to the subdivision that the kids go to. The lot next to us hasn't been built on yet. There is a mound of dirt about 7 feet tall. Brennan calls that a 'mountain' and would snowboard down it. His snowboard broke during the last snow, though.

I'll definitely take pics later on. It's coming down fast!

He's gonna love it! I'm gonna freeze. I don't have a snow suit like he does. Oh well, it will be fun.

He came in the front door, put on his boots and went straight out the back door!

They keep upping the expected amount. Now we're up to 12-16 inches. There is about 3-4 right now. Brennan is doing some massive construction. He is building a fort!

pouring rain here. I keep saying that ever since Patunia sent me that rain gauge.....

Hello__-
I am so glad that Brennan is enjoying the snow.

We had snow like you are getting rachel on Monday & Tuesday. Some places got like 10 or more incjhes of snow----we only got 3--which I was happy with.

Hi Cindy, I see you are up & about---

The snow is too dry to really pack and make anything. He's having fun piling it up and thinking he's going to make a huge fort. Maybe tomorrow it will be better snow to build with. If not, it will be good enough to sled in.

Hi cindy how r u feeeling?

We just made snow ice cream.

I wasn't sure how to make it and I didn't have any cream. I used milk and mint flavoring syrup. Brennan sat on the counter and taste tested as I was making it.