A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall Johnny's son

I am so sorry for Alyssa. I cannot believe insurance companies. At the very least, they coul dof sent her to a rehab facility.---I guess if it is needed she could alwaus go and be re-admitted. That seems to work.

Still praying.

I'm sure she'll be referred to rehab once she's a little better.

I am sure she will--but what I meant was, they should of sent her to an intermedary place. She would not be in a hospital, but she would not be home, by herself trying to get by. That is just plain scarry

sheri, that's great that johnny and little johnny could do that. now the insurance company on the other hand and i missed part of this. is her family not responding in any way?

i am praying for her.

I agree Carol. I thought she'd be sent to a step down unit but when I mentioned it he looked at me like I was from Mars.

Jiffy, her parents were called by the hospital just like we were but they never called or came. Little Johnny had said before that they aren't supportive of her in any way. They live about 2 hours away and they have been to that town for a wedding since they've been dating. But I've gotten the impression that they don't have contact. Johnny has told his ex wife that she will be coming here with him for Christmas because if he comes without her she'll just be home alone.

Sheri, I just cannot see how people, let alone parents can be that way.

Thank goodness you and your Johnny were there for her.

Me either, How sad for Alyssa,, Bless you and Johnny for being there for her,, Still praying Alyssa has a full recovery

Well....to tell the truth I'm not really there for her 100%. I'm helping her just as I would anyone who is broken and hurting but I'm not 100% sold on this girl. I'd rather she not come for Christmas. I don't know how to explain my feelings except to say she's extremely aggressive in pushing herself into family situations, sort of like I'm here whether you like it or not. Johnny told Little Johnny that he'd rather Alyssa not come to Christmas this year, since he's not yet divorced, so Melissa and the girls will be comfortable and Little Johnny said if she doesn't come then I don't. If it were me, I wouldn't want to come under these conditions. I hope I would realize that Johnny should be with his children in a fun, relaxing manner for Christmas day. It's one day for pete's sake. I'm staying out of it though.

Let them come at different Hours.

Then send the ex over to your mothers when that is happening.. And kids can stay for a bit then off to grannys.Great grannys

my mother lives 1-1/2 hours away so we can't do that. I'm letting them work it out although with or without the ex I'd rather she not come because I want Alexis and Tori to have fun. Little Johnny has a point saying "this is my family not Melissa's (his ex). I should be able to come and bring my friends. I'm not going to Melissa's parents for Christmas why does she want to come to my parents for Christmas." He's right on that point. I'm just concerned for the girls. Divorce is a mess.

So we hear.

you have my sympathys. I feel the most sorry for the kids. I hope, in the end, it is all ok for them.

Maybe she is so saddened by her own family not being involved with her life,, she wants to "belong" somewhere and wants to be "wanted" somewhere ,, I know that feeling well, so in that respect,, I empathize with her, and Maybe Little Johnny's feeling is that "she is here to stay in my life and the sooner she is made a part of this family the better it will be for all,including his kids and soon ex, to get use to her and get to know her as an individual as opposed to Johnny's Girlfriend, since L/Johnny sees the Goodness in her,, there must be specialness in her he wants all to see and get to know,,, Of course this is just my speculated opinion and that is all it is ,,, an opinion. I know it's just one day out of the year,, But Is it better to have one spend Christmas alone,, ( I am ) as opposed to people getting used to and accepting her as part of L/ Johnny's life?

i think diane probably has it right.

BUT, i think you are being the wisest sheri by staying out of it. let johnny/l.johhny, melissa, alyssa, and johnny's mother hash it out. i also know, we, in my family (the one i was born into AND scott's family) always included the ex's. granny always said "you divorced so-in-so, not me" then, if she didn't like the person she'd mutter to someone trusted "i wish they would/could have". but she always wanted the parents of her grand/great grand children to be welcome because there times when the parents were the messengers/delivery folks. and a pleasant exchange is always better.

i do think you are handling it well sheri. and i will say a prayer for those kids.

I usually like everyone and Big Johnny always likes everyone but there's something not right about this girl. We can't put our finger on it. I just know that the reason that Cissy and I get along is because I didn't force myself in. Johnny went to plenty of things involving the children without me when we first got together and I was added slowly. I was actually invited by his children, his used to be sister in law, his used to be father in law, and even Cissy - to different functions but a little at a time. Now I'm part of their family. Johnny and I are invited to everything that goes on with his ex wifes family. We don't always go. He goes more than I do to be with his chidren and grans. We were even invited a few months ago to Cissy's dads 90th birthday. With Melissa being upset it's going to take longer for the girls to accept her. That's just my humble opinion that I haven't told to anyone except you guys and Johnny.

We're honored that you felt that you could share with us.

we're here for you.

Don't take this wrong way Sheri because this is just my opinion...everyone does their own thing and if it works for them great.... but if it was me and my parent's invited my ex to a holiday I would be very upset. It is my family...not his!! It would make me uncomfortable and I shouldn't be with my own family. And if you bring your new significant other...they shouldn't be put in the situation. I have been put in that situation before and did not like it at all! But like I said...this is my opinion and hope I didn't make anybody mad by saying it.

Sorry to hear that Alyssa's family have not even responded to the call from the hospital. No matter what kind of history they have had...family should always be there for each other.

Yep I agree with you Jessica,,,,, Life is too short to hold grudges,, and our unity now is what depicts the unity in our families for the next generation .

Exactly!!

It is a wierd situation but Johnny has stayed close to Cissy's side of the family and she has stayed close to his. When Johnny's dad was dying in the hospital, which was after we'd been married 8 years, Cissy was right there with us. Cissy's dad calls Johnny to meet for lunch once in a while. Cissy's sister, Robin who is divorced, calls Johnny if she has questions about things in her house or her car - just like she might call a brother. Johnny and Cissy dated through high school and got married young. They actually lived with Cissy's mom (who was divorced) for a while and Johnny was like a son and big brother. Johnny and I have not been the one to bring up the situation of Christmas. Amy, Johnny's daughter had a birthday dinner for him in September, too which by the way Cissy was invited. Amy (Johnnys daughter) went and picked up Alexis and Tori (Little Johnny's children) so they could be there because Little Johnny had worked all night and was getting a little sleep before the party. Alexis (one of the children) was upset that her mother (Melissa) wasn't coming because Alyssa was going to be there. (but it was totally Melissa's choice not to come - she was invited and she and Little Johnny have a pretty civil face to face relationship considering and Alyssa would have certainly been nice to her). Alexis was the one who asked what would happen at Christmas. Melissa probably made some type of comment to the children like "Amy will be picking you up to take you to Poppie's birthday party because I can't go anymore." She's actually been pretty good through all of this but I guess you can't be good all the time.

But anyway. While I have a civil face to face with my ex and everyone goes to the stuff that's realted to the grandchildren, I don't have any type of relationship with his family nor him with mine. I went to Ginger's wedding in Jamaica and he didn't. He had a wedding reception for Ginger, our youngest daughter, and I wasn't invited. I didn't bring it up and didn't even know about it until Shelley, my oldest, told me that she and her dad had a fight because "he's an idioit for not having you at Ginger's reception. It's not only stupid but embarrassing to us that he's so petty. Everyone will ask where you are and what will we say." I told her to tell the truth and that my feeling weren't hurt at all and that was the truth. Come to think of it I don't think I've talked to his sister since we divorced but we were never great friend to start with. I did visit one of his aunts when she was in the hospital dying just because I loved her so much when we were together. I did not go to his dads or his mothers funeral, but I did stay with Shelley's children while she went - but I wouldn't have gone anyway. I did however, call Ronnie (my ex) with condolences.

When you have children you are forever linked and just have to make the best of it.

Johnny's and Cissy's is an unusual situation to say the least and I guess the grans see them and think that their mom and dad will be that way too.

Anyway, I can't make myself truly like Alyssa and it's got nothing to do with Melissa. There's just something and I can't put my finger on it. She's doing pretty well recovering. She's a trooper for sure.

I totally agree with being linked with children. I would be at all of the kids things together but I would not go to my exes holidays and would not want him invited to mine. But like I said...different things work out for everyone and that is each individuals choice.

You're right. It's wierd.