Merme
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Garden Pro!
Member # 3961
gnome 1 posted July 23, 2005 05:56 AM Merme Post Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome back to the XXXth Olympiad Special Event Series. Competing in tonight's event are the top athletes from around the world -- Gardeners, if you please.
Gathered here alongside millions and millions of acres of land plowed specially for this venue, we see the furrows stretching farther than the eye can reach. And everyone in the crowd is asking "HOW will they get it all planted? IS this even possible?"
The athletes are taking their places,
seed bags over their shoulders. I see many a face lined with wisdom and sunshine under those gardening caps and we are guaranteed to have a spectacular show tonight!
Oh and look, there he is! Bill! Making a rare appearance out of The Hollow Log at Cedar Hill, with his faithful companion Shadow at his side. Oh he looks ready, folks, he looks ready! A master gardener of all master gardeners -- a true Olympian before ever stepping foot in the arena...
It's the opening shot and they are off! See these gardeners scrambling down the furrows, laying
seed after
seed after
seed and still more
seeds to go!
And look at Bill, everyone, look at 'im go! He's planted Cosmos, he's planted Periwinkle, he's planted 4 O'Clocks...two acres behind him and he still isn't stopping!
Legend has it that he's a wood chopping man, folks, and I'm guessing that all those cords he's split at Cedar Hill have done his shoulders well for he's OFF! Starting acre 5, he's laying down the LadySlippers and now the Zinnias and oh, can you believe it? He's heading for acre 9 with a monster sack of "Cuphea ignea"
seeds!
What a show, folks, what a show!
And here he is, tossing the empty sack of "Corydalis lutea" and digging right into the sack of "Dracunculus vulgaris" otherwise known as Dragon
lily!
There is no stopping him...20 acres down and 30 to go and he is still bent over, laying
seeds, running at the speed of light, it seems!
Bill is a famous shutter bug in his spare time and I'm thinking as I watch this amazing display of
seed planting dexterity, that all those hours of snapping photographs have given him extraordinary speed with those fingers!
5 acres of "Capsicum annuum" or Ornamental
peppers behind him now and what's this? Oh how can this be possible? CROWS! CROWS are coming to pull up his
seeds! Whatever is he going to do?
The crowd is screaming, the fans are tense! What's this? He is pulling out the biggest thermos I have EVER seen and is pouring himself a Margarita!
And the crowd rrrrroooooaaaaarrrrsssss as he does his Margarita Dance, a frightening Tango scaring all those crows away!
So he's back on track now, going even faster, laying down one acre after another with every
seed known to man and nothing or no one can stop him now and it's GOLD! Bill has taken the GOLD!
Making his exhausted way to the podium, Bill is surrounded by well-wishers offering him every conceivable gift that would turn any man's head. But not this Bill. This Bill humbly takes the high step on the podium and softly says "Hold your applause and thank you very much, but um, could SOMEBODY throw a steak on that grill over there? Me 'n my Shadow could use a bite!"
And the crowd goes wild with enthusiasm for this master gardener of gardeners, the Legendary Man of Mystery from Cedar Hill who has won Olympic Gold tonight!
Merme
Garden Pro!
Member # 3961
Mr. Bill, sir?
All I wanna say is....
Afgrey made me do it! Afgrey made me do it!
Ok,ok, so I AM a tattle-tale, but as the youngest of six --- I had LOTS of practic
And I know, I know. You are probably wondering just how she managed to twist my arm while SHE is in KY and I am in ME? Am not really too sure about that, but please don't poof us!
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Thanks for finding that Bill,,,
That gave me a good laugh I needed it ~~ tough day at work today
That was written so well,, It's good to find things to keep Merme's Memory alive, especially through Humor