A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall Why did the chicken cross the road?

This is another great one that I got in email this morning - hope it gives you a few chuckles like it did for me.


Why did the chicken cross the road?

DR. PHIL : "The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems ".


OPRAH: "Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. "


GEORGE W. BUSH: "We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. "


COLIN POWELL: "Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road..." .


ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: "We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. "


JOHN KERRY: "Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. "


NANCY GRACE: " That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks."


PAT BUCHANAN: " To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American."


MARTHA STEWART: "No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. "


DR SEUSS: "Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told."


ERNEST HEMINGWAY: "To die in the rain. Alone."


JERRY FALWELL: "Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side'. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that."


GRANDPA: "In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough."


BARBARA WALTERS: "Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. "


JOHN LENNON: "Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace."


ARISTOTLE: "It is the nature of chickens to cross the road."


BILL GATES: "I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot. "


ALBERT EINSTEIN: "Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken . "


BILL CLINTON: "I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken . "


AL GORE: "I invented the chicken!"


COLONEL SANDERS: "Did I miss one?"


DICK CHENEY: "Where's my gun?"


AL SHARPTON: "Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens."

Hillary Clinton: "I have vast experience with chickens and if elected, I will ensure that EVERY chicken has the ability to cross any road they desire. "

That is funny Lynne!! Thanks for sharing!

Now see mine would say, Loz thought the chicken crossed the road to escape her from grabbing it and stuffing it with cheese and mushrooms and eating it for dinner! Everyone knows I love to eat.

Lynne--very funny--thanks for sharing--

yep---
Good one Cindy---

That's why I moved near mom, so I don't have to cook!

And I do cook(sometimes) I just don't enjoy it....but I really did post a recipe for stuffed breasts before and they're really yummy. Haven't made them for a while though cause I don't like to cook.

I wish I did---I wish I had that super gene for cooking and cleaning.

And BTW Cindy, it's usually Burger King.....with a Whopper with Cheese, fries, and a Sprite. We don't have a Wendys too near us.

I would most surely cook for my kids if they lived close to me---but it willnot ever happen--
Your mom is so very fortunate----but then I am sure she knows that :wink:

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ohhhh......for some "fowl" reason.

Yeah, we love our daily afternoon coffee. Even if I don't go eat lunch with them we have our coffee together each day and that's nice.

Had spaghetti, cheese sticks, and garlic bread for lunch over there today and I'm stuffed!!!!

And you never know Carol, one day they may move closer to you. I NEVER thought I'd live here across from my parents, but God just sort of threw this house at us and we went along for the ride.

Well the house next to me was for sale when the oldest was looking--DH made sure my SIL did not allow that to happen--(I am so upset, yet)

and now it is once again for sale--but youngest does what oldest one does--so-
--so she just signed papers for a house in Collinsville--which is where the oldest lives--also the town where oldest's MIL lives---did I menion youngest MIL is about 15 minutes away from them too??

also down the block there is a perfect home--neither would even look at it--
nope I am not going to see that happen--but thanks for the support---

I try not to think about it

I like Dr. Suess answer best! Bill Clinton was a close second!

I am especially fond of the Dr. Suess answer too

To get to the other side.........................

dr dodges answer

I thought that was ALWAYS why chicken's cross the road---

Well why don't ya just ask this one and see what it says

i'd say it's trying to get to diane's chicken in the bird cam topic so they can dance together

jiffy--I think you are right !!!

That is pretty good , Yes I got a laugh on that...

Dakota