A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall You're Smarter Than You Think!

If you are ever having a bad day and feeling like a bit of an idjit, just read these famous quotes and you'll realize you are smarter than you think!

Brooke Shields: "Smoking kills. If you are killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."

Miss America 1995: Q: If you could live forever, would you and why?
A: "I would not live forever because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever which is why I would not live forever."

Mariah Carey: "Whenever I watch TV and see all those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky Basketball star "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."

Mayor Barry of Washington, DC "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."

A Texas Congressional hopeful: "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass and I'm just the one to do it!"

Dan Quayle: "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

Lee Iacocca: "We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"

Joe Thiesman, NFL quarterback and sports analyst: "The word genius isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."

Col. Wellman, ROTC instructor: "We don't discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people."

Dept. of Social Services, Greenville, SC "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

Keppel Enderberry: "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

Mark Fowler, FCC Chairman: "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. Then, if they wake up dead in the morning, there will be a record."


See? Aren't you feeling downright smart right now?!

Merme

That's so funny.

Thanks, I'm feeling smarter and smarter.
A postcard in the mid-fifties from Las Vegas. Picture side: a slot machine with a glass bubble on top with a million dollars in it.
On the back written by a guy to the love of his life: "This is what a million dollars looks like. Nice as it would be, I would trade you in for it"
We found this in amongst my mom's stuff when she passed away in 1988. It was from my dad. Funny.

I feel so much smarter! Thanks Merme!

OMG

these were like my favorite


Lee Iacocca: "We have to pause and ask ourselves how much clean air do we need?"


Dept. of Social Services, Greenville, SC "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

Merme--you are right--I DO feel so much smarter after having read them.

Thanks for sharing----

Thanks Merme I believe I am smart