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#278791 May 6th, 2009 at 01:41 PM
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,137
Likes: 33
Patriot
10k Posts
Patriot
10k Posts
Joined: Aug 2003
Posts: 19,137
Likes: 33
One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a

Cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next year, he didn't

didn't buy her a gift. When she asked him why, he replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife walked into the den & asked "What's on the TV?"

I replied "Dust"

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her

husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.. I really

need you to pay me a compliment.

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our

upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0

to 200 in about 3 seconds.

I bought her a scale..

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our

anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet

appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's how the fight started.

-------------------------------------------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A

Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered..

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply

saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's how the fight started

....................................................................................................

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light

for $14..95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream

for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look

better at night than the cold cream.

And that's how the fight started.

...................................................................................................

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some

reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself..'

And that's how the fight started






Joined: Oct 2006
Posts: 47,809
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Frogger
40k Posts
Frogger
40k Posts
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Posts: 47,809
Likes: 37
OH my word those are funny, Sheri!!!!!


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Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain!! .....
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 5,621
Ballard Beaver!
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Ballard Beaver!
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Posts: 5,621
Very funny. Thanks for putting some laughs in my day.


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Plant smiles, grow giggles, harvest love.
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Posts: 37,027
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California Queen
30k Posts
California Queen
30k Posts
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 37,027
Likes: 9
I had a good time with these. Thank you, Sheri.


~Tina
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[Linked Image]

Drama Free Zone.
What every gardener loves the most, Begins and ends in rich compost. (Tina)
plantqueen
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plantqueen
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Those are good! Thanks for sharing.


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