A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall Banter of Jokes and funny one liner's

I thought it would be nice to have a continuing thread of jokes.and One liners/&funny thoughts of the day.
Keep it clean Folks this is a Family Friendly Banter Hall

here is the first one,,,,,,

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was impossible for whales to swallow a human. It's throat was very small.
The girl said "Jonah was swallowed by a whale!".
Irritated,the teacher said "A whale could not swallow a human whole; it's impossible."
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked,"What if Jonah went to hell? "
The girl replied, "Then you ask him. "

Join me for laughs,, sometimes we don't always have a good day,, even if we don't post it would be nice to come here and get a little chuckle to lighten a load! :wink:

a great idea, Diane. I will be on the lookout for a contribution--or several.

. hmmmmmmmmm...... Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

Love this idea!

I have the body of a supermodel...and she is gonna be very mad at me when she sees what I've done to it!

Ha ha ha ha ~ LOve it!

The Chief Executive of an HMO died and was very relieved that he got into heaven. Of course, he had to check out after 48 hours...

He who farts in church sits in his own pew.

Women are Angels ....And when someone breaks our wings. ...We simply continue to fly ...................on a broomstick ...We're flexible like that ....

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.

So I bought her a scale.

And that's how the fight started.....

< @ Papito

Good one papito I'm glad you stopped in and contributed to this thread

A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

How do you tick off a hitchhiker?
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Pick them up and do a U-Turn

If I hide the my bills in the washing machine, will they go to the "Happy place" where my matching socks go ?

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL?

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried

chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right,

everyone else in the class laughed.


My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried

>>> chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and

he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love

animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.


Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what

happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.


The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal

was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, just like she'd

asked the other children. So I told her it was because you could make

them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office

again. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.


I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher

doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what

famous person we admire most.


I told her, "Colonel Sanders".


Guess where I am now...???