A Gardeners Forum Forums General Discussion The Banter Hall COFFEEHOUSE 2309 Don't Get Left Behind!

Getting the new CH all spruced up and ready just before the old one closes.



.... come on in and set a spell!

So this CH has those big ceiling fans which turn slowly using wicker blades shaped so soothingly and wide.

It has floor to ceiling windows and sheer white draperies which billow a bit in the strong sea breeze coming up from the beach through the trees. Just smell the heavenly scent of ocean and flowering vines mingled together!

We have big tables to serve a crowd and small bistro seating as well. The lights are dim and so the tiny lantern on each tabletop gives a warm and welcoming glow among the vases of roses, tiger lilies, anthuriums and showy orchids.

The sparkling fountain in the corner makes such a pleasant sound behind the strolling calypso band playing quietly for your amusement.

As always, food and drinks are on the house!

So, like the old saying goes if it seems too good to be true it probably is. The gift cards for the sunglasses come with a catch and after reading some reviews it sounds like they are just one of those companies that is trying to make their product sound better than it really is. The gift cards I got were for $500 each. The sunglasses they sell are between $200-$300 in general. They are not a high end brand name that everyone knows to be charging high end prices. To use the gift cards you have to pay a 9% fee based on the price of each pair of sunglasses. So, that's how they're making money on them. Besides, they're made in China and based on the reviews I read they are no better than $20 grocery store sunglasses, which are probably also made in China but at least those don't break my bank and I can try them on before I buy them. Oh well, no harm done and I'm glad I tried to do a little research on the company before getting too excited. The goody bag for this race wasn't all that great but it doesn't really matter. I got a really nice shirt, better than most race shirts, and it's only the 2nd year for this race. They don't have many sponsors and they have a limit to the number of racers, which I actually like as it won't be too crowded. They're are also feeding everyone a post race breakfast provided by a sponsor.

Anyway, I am still tired and worn out from yesterday. We've had some minor problems with the girls today which they turned into so much more. Their dad is talking to them for the second time today about the same thing. The first time he got frustrated and told them that they were being childish. He left them alone a while and went back down to try again. All of this because one of the girls decided to do laundry on my laundry day when they know they aren't supposed to. We've got a laundry schedule for a reason and they need to learn to follow it. We set it up so that they have Monday through Thursday to do their laundry and I get Friday, Saturday, and Sunday if I'm not at work. Basically, they get 4 days and I generally get 2. Ashley likes to go hang with her friends all day and she needs to learn to get her priorities straight. I asked them if I could do one load of towels on Thursday night so that we'd have clean towels for wild waves, and they were both fine with it. Besides, the reason we don't have enough towels has partly to do with the fact they won't reuse towels until they are all dirty, often leaving the rest of us with nothing. We can't yet afford to buy more towels and they know this. They used to sometimes use 2-3 towels a day and we had to put a rule into place that they were only allowed one towel a day. We were gone all day yesterday, today I went out and ran my errands and now it's going on 2pm so I decided I better get started on my laundry. What do I find in the washer? I washer full of wet clothes that didn't come from my basket. Ashley had a really negative attitude all morning and I can't deal with her when she's like that so I got dad involved. Amanda apologized to me, even though it was Ashley that wanted to do the laundry. I'm waiting for Ashley to apologize since when I asked her to get those clothes out of the washer asap she rudely told me it was Amanda's problem. Sorry, I really needed to vent. Of all the kids we are having the most problems with Ashley and it seems no matter what her dad tells her or counsels her on she seems determined not to listen to him and make her own life more miserable and then takes it out on us. She's also very bull headed and stubborn like her father.

Teens can be a royal pain. I am not always sure why. But it often has much to do with whomever they hang out with. They egg each other on. At least that was the case with my problem teen. She did outgrow it though. She will be 19 this week and has become a delight to be around.

I think a lot of has to do with her personality and the fact that they are twins. They have a lot of the same friends and everything is a competition, especially to Ashley. Amanda is more comfortable in her skin, more laid back, and generally pretty easy going and not too concerned about how others think of her. Ashley is constantly jealous of Amanda and feels that Amanda steals all of her friends. She's more concerned about what people think of her is much more confrontational. She tries too hard to be better than her sister and it ends up being to her own detriment. Ashley has twice as many texts per month as Amanda and is out of the house more often with friends than Amanda. However, Amanda has better relationships over all and can tell her friends when she's unavailable instead of worrying that every time she doesn't respond means her friends are beginning to hate her. Amanda is just the twin that is a little better at most things than Ashley is and I think Ashley takes some of that personally. They are both in puberty, which is awkward enough in trying to figure out who you are, but then to have twin issues on top of it just makes it more awkward and uncomfortable. One day Ashley will realize that she's her own person, with her own friends that like her for who she is, and will be free of constantly trying to be better than her sister. Just wish it would come sooner rather than later.

Gee. Cheryl, I'm sorry you are going through all of this! I have my troubles w/ Maxi and teenage attitudes, but at least he isn't a twin!! I hope things resolve peaceably soon for you all.

We've had dinner and now Maxi is getting showered up. We'll save laundry until tomorrow but that's the limit we can wait as he is leaving Monday morning again.

We are back from my MIl's place's picnic.
The drivers were messed up & I could not type--put they are recovered now--bless my computer's system.

Cheryl--so sorry for waht is going on. That is typical teen stuff. I can remember sitting on our kitchen chairs
nevert mind---DH weantws me I'll tell you later

I know it's typical teen stuff but it still sucks sometimes. Thanks for listening and letting me vent, that helps a lot. Things seem to be resolved, at least for now.

It is not typical teen stuff. Of my 4 normal kids (Teddy doesn't count) I only had one problematic teen. She says now she thought it had to be adversarial because her friends had the same approach.
Teens do have real hormonal issues to deal with.
It is a time for teens to stretch the apron stings quite naturally.
Teens all think adults are pretty dumb and haven't a clue as to how the world works.
Teens are invulnerable. None of those things that adults worry about can possibly happen to them.
Those are all normal teen stuff and you can most of the time see it and (laugh) and try to help them through it.
Then you get the teen who will never step onto your side of the fence. They think the world is at war with you and they are on the only right side. If you allow them to live or they don't do something completely stupid to themselves, they usually outgrow it at some point.
I hope your teen is not there, Cheryl. It is not pleasant.

Maxi and I had the rebellion conversation. I explained to him that rebellion is a natural part of being a healthy teen. The trick to it, though, I told him, is to find something useful to rebel with and not something detrimental so you don't "cut off your nose to spite your face". He laughed at that expression, as I knew he would.

I gave him the example of homework. If you rebel against homework, you only hurt yourself. Your parents are already educated so homework doesn't count. Your teacher is already educated & employed. Your not doing homework doesn't matter to the teacher's life.

I told him some teens rebel w/ religion and pick something totally different from what the family practices (shock value is happy stuff for some teens!).

But the smart teen will find a cause -- something really worth rebelling about -- such as social injustice or world hunger and get involved in the remedy for it.

He understood.

I just wanted him to somehow channel all that necessary rebellious energy into something other than flying off all over the place rebelling at every little thing, just because.

I can't get the girls to care about much of anything outside of themselves. I've taught them about healthy eating and why, they know about pollution, slave labor, child trafficking, etc. It's not part of their personal little world therefore it doesn't matter. I remember when I was in middle school and it was a tough time of life. You're desperate to fit in and no one wants to be the odd one out. Your friends are everything and the fact that your parents don't "get" that means they're stupid. I know that it will get better over the next few years as their minds mature and they start to become adults. I think the problems lie in the fact that they think they have adult minds and don't realize how immature they still are. They're in a transitioning phase right now. Ashley is also depressed that not one of her close friends is going to be at the same high school and most of the people she does know she doesn't like very well. I'm thinking that this will be a blessing in disguise for Ashley. She'll have the opportunity to make a whole new set of friends rather than trying to win back her old friends that like her twin sister better. Most of my friends met some of the their life long best friends while in high school, not before. I keep trying to tell her that but I don't think she really believes me. I just wish there was a way to get her out of the mindset that the world is against her, which I believe is how she feels at least some of the time. Aros has explained all this before. She just lets her emotions get in the way of her rational thinking most of the time and that's just going to take some time to grow out of I think.

Merme, boys are so much easier I think. They don't have all the extra emotional turmoil to fuel the rebellious fire. I guess we'll see over the next few years how Joey turns out but so far he's always been the easiest as far as behavior and attitude. He'll get an attitude but he gets over so much faster and without grudges than his sisters ever have.

Everyone's okay now. The girls have a clear set of laundry rules that are posted to the washer machine. The only reason why there was any laundry in the machine today was because they couldn't agree on who's turn it was to put it into the dryer. Yes, most of their fights are this petty and we generally just ignore them. I went and picked us up some teriyaki chicken for dinner and now we are all just doing our own thing. The girls are in their room watching a show, Joe's playing xbox live with friends, Aros and I are on our computers. I didn't do any weeding today. I just keep coming up with excuse after excuse to not finish that weeding. I just don't want to do it. I think it's because I'm really depressed about the sorry state my garden has become this year that I don't want to go out and really assess the damage. I gave up this year on it, not sure why. Probably just too many other things on my mind and it feels like work and I don't want to do work on my days off. Tomorrow we have to go grocery shopping but that's all we have to do and we'll do that in the evening when the crowds are lower so if I'm feeling okay after my race I'm forcing myself to get out there and just get 'er done!

Anyone know of any possible future ban on HFCS? Or maybe soda manufacturers are trying to see a way to get more money probably. At our grocery store they have anniversary additions of pepsi, mountain dew, and dr. pepper that are made with real sugar. They do taste different, definitely not as sweet, but I'm really enjoying the dr. pepper. I think I might read a bit while listening to some blues ladies sing in my ears before heading off to bed. I have to get up really early for my race tomorrow. It'll be good for me to run. See you all later!

I'm sorry, Cheryl, but I've forgotten how old the girls are now, exactly?

Maxi will be 15 in early October.

Your assessment of them sounds accurate and not too bleak. I like the positive overtones you have as that could be very important in the times ahead.

Yes, you are right: I too can remember when 'fitting in' was so important in middle school. But in my life it only mattered during school hours because we also had a very strong (perhaps too strong) family ethic and getting on well at home mattered more.

In high school, things changed again for us all because we attended a ginormous high school which had small groups of everything imaginable. So once you made it to the 11th-12th grade school, you could easily find a niche to belong. In a school that large, which could only handle two grades because of sheer size, you had to find a niche to participate with to have any sense of community at all. My school ultimately got so large it had to split into two districts -- East and West. So I don't personally know about attending a small or even medium sized school.

The "big" schools here tend to be about 100 or so per graduating class. And that seems more manageable to me. I hope Maxi enjoys high school.

The girls just turned 15 last week, they are almost the same age as Maxi and are in the same grade. 100 for a graduating class is pretty small here but we do live in a very large city. My graduating class in high school was over 200 and that was considered pretty small in comparison to other schools. I think somewhere around 300-350 is about average but I'm not really sure about that. I also have to remind myself to take into consideration what we've all been going through. Things are getting better but we are still going through some adjustments. We still don't have a permanent parenting plan and either the kids mom (more likely her husband) or her lawyer keep saying one thing and doing another causing all kinds of delays. Aros has had enough and told his lawyer to stop trying to negotiate and we'll let the judge decide at the hearing on Tuesday what the temporary orders should be until the official court date next year. Then, we'll have to adjust to school schedules and Aros starting to work as well in a few weeks here. Thank goodness I've found running. Sometimes it's the only thing that helps me clear my head and get rid of the negative build up.

I think Maxi will enjoy high school. He's a very smart kid and worked hard to get into such a nice school. He definitely won't be bored, instead he'll be challenged. I think that's great! He'll be at a school with like minded and smart kids just like him. Plus, he has his friend Dom, who seems like he is truly a great friend and Maxi is lucky to have him in his life. Joey doesn't have any good friends, yet, and girls will turn around and stab each other in the back if it benefits them, which is sad and something I'm sure those girls have learned from their mothers. At least they know there's an alternative.

My last load is in the dryer. I only run the dryer in the cool of the evening or early morning. I am getting ready to head towards my bed.

Have a great night Tina! I just stopped my dryer. Lucky for us it's in the basement so even if we happen to have a hot day it doesn't affect us upstairs. We don't run the dryer past 10 though because we don't want our neighbors (landlords) to get upset with the noise at night. I'm sensitive to foreign noises keeping me from sleeping so I'd hate for our landlords to be upset that we run our dryer when they're trying to sleep.

I'm off to bed too, got an early morning tomorrow. All my clothes are set out, my water bottle is freezing and the pockets of my hydration belt are packed and ready to go. All I have to do is get up, shower, dress, eat, and leave. Hope it doesn't rain, I've only done a couple races where it wasn't rainy or wet. I really want to get as close to one hour on this race as possible. I know those roads and can't think of any major hills so it should be a pretty easy race for me. See you in the morning!

That's my problem right now..and she does every stupid thing she can to herself

Hoping things get better soon Cheryl

Morning all, lots to do today..just have no clue where to start.

Good morning, Tamara.
I got lucky with my teen. Her father's illness threw her into grow-up-in-a-hurry mode. She is far from perfect but her general attitude is perfectly lovely. She may not help around the house but it is done with a smile and a pleasant demeanor.
Today I am going to rake before the heat comes to visit for a long stay.

Good morning Tamara and Tina. I'm working on a bowl of oat bran. My stomach isn't feeling so hot and I'm hoping this will settle it down.

I hope it helps, Cheryl. Good luck on your run today.

Happy Sunday, everybody!


Cheryl I hope your tummy settled down and you are having a great run.

Oh, I hadn't realized your girls and Maxi are the same age! For some reason, I thought the girls were still younger.

You are right: Dom is a good friend to Maxi. Yesterday he was so excited about Maxi coming home, he was here hours earlier than he needed to be. I was playing one of my on-line games and this one featured decorating a house between rounds of the game. Dom sat here playing the game w/ me, giving all his opinions on the home decor (he has a good eye for color and shape). It made me chuckle. We got most of the house done before he got restless and needed a bike ride. He about talked our ears off about all the fun he & Maxi are going to have before school starts up again. He is so proud of Maxi for gaining entrance to Cheverus but is heartsick they won't be together for high school.

I hope Joey makes a good friend like that as time goes by.

I think one reason parents get so concerned for the young people -- besides wanting the household to run smoothly -- is that we understand how complex adult living is and we see areas in the young which aren't developed enough to tackle life. So, we fret!

Hi

Diane! Ran a good race today, even though it was a wet one. I've only had one sunny race all year. Eh, Seattle is unpredictable. I'd rather it be 50 and raining than 90 and sweltering. I'll have to look up my time but I'm pretty sure this is the fastest 10k I've done by about four minutes! That's huge. It helps that this one had very few hills and the ones it did have weren't so bad and short lived. I'm pretty hungry and tired. Debating whether or not I should eat breakfast alone or just eat something small and wait for everyone else to wake up. Maybe I'll have a protein shake, that'll tide me over.

HI Diane !!

Cheryl, glad the race went well for you.

Merme, I am so glad that maxi has such a good friend. Having one can make all of the difference.

Hi Tina, don't work too hard.

Tamara: I hope today goes well. I am sure you will figure it all out.

I am so so tired. I think a nap is in order--but it is so late in the day to do that. I amy well do so anyway...

I feel a second nap coming on. Man, I just can't stop eating and sleeping today.

I took a decent little nap. Now I am getting my son ready for a new school week.

These grand-puppies have got to go home soon. They get up with Rodney every morning at 4am & think it is time to go out. he does not take them out so of course when he leaves they come to get me up (at 5am). I am not a person to go back to sleep.

so they do not "get" the weekend. today I was awakened at a bit before 5. I had a nap but my eyes are still heavy. I think tonight will be an earlier than usual night. Praise the Lord they go home tomorrow night.

Night night.....

Goodnight, Carol.
I love my mornings and so does my dog. I am glad I do. This week is to be a very hot one so mornings will be my only time to work outside.

I so need to get the dogs out & then get to bed. But I am waiting for Valarie to get into STL airport. She was in a weekend trip.

she left Denver at 7pm (or perhgaps it was 7 their time.
takes 2 hours so she likley have 15 more minutes.

I am yawning so much!!! I am sleepy for sure.................

when I was younger I too loved mornings. But not so much any more.

I think it is suppsed to be cooler here this week. I hope so--I need to get some yard work done myself...... :wink:

OK so it is 29 minutes later than the above post........
Valarie's ETA is 37 minutes from now----

I just got a text from Valarie
They got it & have been picked up at the Airport & are on their way home.

I am way tired, & am going to sleep now--nite nite.

Good morning everybody!!

Good morning everyone. I am making my second cup of coffee as we "speak".

I need to plan today's schedule yet.....

Did someone say coffee? Good morning everyone! How did Monday get here so fast? I don't feel like working, my leg is sore and I'm tired today. Oh well, I'll get through it. Maybe a walk later will help. I don't have too busy of a day today so at least there's that. I'm also cooking a really quick and easy dinner tonight so I'll get to relax and go to bed early. Maybe I'll take a nice bath tonight, haven't dine that in a while. Hope everyone has a good day!

Good morning. I got my son off to school and now I am hiding indoors from the heat. Triple digits today and as high as 110* tomorrow and Wednesday. I will take it easy and only go out to change sprinklers.

Hi all,
Been a busy morning... first day of school.. Nicoli's first day of kindergarten- he was find- Mom was upset... her baby in big school...LOL! I went to get my blood work done- that went okay- now to wait for results...
After we took Carrie out to breakfast with us... was nice- we hadn't done that in a long time...next is banking and errand running... out of some stuff we really need so off to a store- Joe wants to get the oil changed on the Tahoe too.. put a lot of miles on it on vacation and trip to Vegas and back... it's overdue.. needs to be washed too.. convinced Joe to take it to car wash and have it done- his back is out again- not bad and getting better... but he doesn't need to climb on a ladder to wash it.
I have been walking almost every night the last week or so.. I have lost about 4 lbs since we got back from vacation... want to get a pedometer to keep track of my steps, really want to get down to a reasonable weight... between my meds and diet changes my blood pressure is down in the almost normal range most of the time so every little bit will help...
We are cooling off this week- cold front coming in ..only supposed to be 88* today...nice... may get out and enjoy the yard...
Well off to get started.....
Nana

It sounds like you are on the right track for your health, Nana.
I dislike trying to wash my car in my dirt driveway. Every time one of my adult kids asks me what I would like for Christmas or b-day or other gifting times. I tell them gift certificates for my favorite hand wash place. And between visits there I will run it through the cheapo automatic wash.
I am getting ready to brave the heat and go pick up my son from school.

The girls found out this evening that swimming practice started today. Not sure how they were supposed to have known that ahead of time but they were assured that it was okay that they missed the first day. Now, we have to scramble tonight to find them suitable swim suits, caps, and goggles. More money that we don't really have. We have a court hearing tomorrow for temporary orders tomorrow so hopefully that means that we'll start getting child support to help pay for all this school stuff. We haven't even started on the school supplies yet and Joey doesn't have his school schedule yet either. Have a great night everyone!

it is always something it seems huh, Cheryl??? I hope the hearing works out for you. But hopefully now that Aros will be working things will get easier for you all. All of this you both are doing for the kids will not be lost. The kids will be better people & then someday parents themselves because of all they see done for them.

It is sad about the school & their apparent lack of organization. I would keep an extra watch on Joey's schedule in view of what was done with the girls.

I hope that you have easy sailing with the school supplies and swim gear, Cheryl.
It was a long hot day here today and supposed to get there again tomorrow only hotter.
I will not complain. The summer so far has been as near perfect as it can get.

WE are supposed to have a cooler week, before it heats back up once again.. I hope to have enough time to do a bit more yard work.

night night everyone....sweet dreams to all of you........