Ladies and Gentlemen, today I welcome you to the fascinating Olympic Event of Posting On The Forum. In this difficult venue, the athletes are not allowed to merely focus on the task of posting, but they must fully participate in the true nature of their sport, which means posting in Real Life circumstances. This is Reality TV at its finest, folks, and the prize is The Gold Medal!
In this round of semi-finalists going for the Gold today, there are 10 very talented posters who have passed all the elimination heats. Our crowd favorite is Weezie13, representing the fine State of New York! Let's watch as the athletes take their seats at the computer desks. Notice how the crowd makes way for each athletes entourage...that's right, folks, these are the very children, pets and container gardens, husbands, mothers, stoves and telephones that separate the Olympian Poster from the amatuer at the sport.
All the computers are booted up, each finalist is familiar with the software. Notice how some are adjusting their lamps, others fixing a drink to have handy. They all seem a bit nervous today, but this is no delete-able matter. Every post counts! The referee is preparing the signal and it's a Go!
Keep your eye on Weezie13 seated at desk #3. From her profile we know she is a master poster, a housewife, a mother, a daughter, and a wonderful gardener. But is she up to this daunting task? Look at her go! Weezie is posting! She's reached 10, she's reached 30 and is working on 38 and her phone rings!
But that doesn't stop her! She answers it, places it on her shoulder and Talks While Posting! And now look, two babies have climbed on her lap and she is still Posting! She's reached 100 and hangs up the phone! She's using italics, she's using bold print, she's got Graemlins running up her arm!
Husband apparently wants supper and she is caught between Post 890 and 891...never letting go of her keyboard, she puts one baby down and makes a mad dash to the stove where she turns on a pot of soup with one hand, still typing wildly with the other! And she's back at her desk!
A child is crying! There is something wrong in the garden. Weezie spins her desk chair, grabs a bucket of water, sloshes it over the
plants, pulls a few
weeds and polishes up on post #8,213.
This is getting exciting folks, the crowd is losing control! They are cheering, they are hollering, they are waving Weezie flags as she puts a band-aid on a skinned knee, wipes a tear-stained cheek and thinks of one more inspirational poem to type as she closes up post #36,000.
Is there no stopping this small woman? Do her fingers never rest? There she goes, sipping Red
rose Tea and ladling soup and ohmyGod, I think she is typing with her nose! Adding a link here, answering a question there, welcome posts for newcomers and fact sheets for the confused. She consoles, she prays, she decorates the screen with love! What dedication! What fortitude! What grace under fire!
DISASTER has struck! Did you see Weezie's screen go blank? What has happened, oh WHAT has happened?! The other posters glance around their monitors relieved to have a chance to catch up with her. But what is wrong? Why is her screen blank? She is crawling under the desk with a baby on her back! She's got it! She figured it out! A dog pulled the plug! Wiggling the cord back into the socket and reaching the Power Button with her knee, in a marvelous balancing act, she keeps the baby safe, gets back up in her seat and the final push is on for the Gold! She's answered the phone 20 times, she's answered the doorbell a score or two more, she's answered 340 PM's and would you look at that! She answers everything and keeps on Posting!
One baby asleep in her lap, another baby leaning hehind her playing with her ear doesn't stop her, no sir! She is hunched over her keyboard and typing like nobody's business and post after post is entered on the forum and I think...I think....clicking her mouse one final time and...She's Done It!
Weezie13 has won the GOLD! 50,000 Posts On The Forum In One Hour Flat, breaking a new world record!
Merme
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:p 
