A Gardeners Forum Forums Gardening Reference Gardening in 2005 memorial garden

I am trying to design a memorial garden on a small fairly steep slope that faces my kitchen window. I really have no idea how to proceed and am just a novice gardener (or whatever the step below novice is) Has anyone had experience with this? Thanks for any advice or feedback

Hi and welcome. I just joined today as well. Have you thought about a rock garden? slopes seem to work really well for them.

Welcome mrsmessy! Rocks & slopes are just beautiful (and help keep everything form washing down) May I ask what the memorial is for? I think it is a wonderful idea..a memorial garden...got my wheels a turning!

August 1 is the third anniversary of the death of my son. I have been struggling with how to honor the day and the idea of a memorial garden just took root. I have not been able to find anything small in my research, just large areas. Our yard is a mess due to wind storms toppling trees last summer, a tree shredding nightmare, and the resulting erosion. Rocks sound like a good idea. I would also like some flowering shrubs and a butterfly bush.

In my research on rock gardens I have seen many very pretty alpine plants that do well in rock gardens. I borrowed books from my local library. The ones I picked to start with (and I hope this is ok to list titles and authors, if not feel free to delete them)

The Prairie Rock Garden- Donna Balzer(this is a Canadian book published in a city near me, but has a very comprehensive list of plants)

A Firefly Gardeners Guide Rock Gardens-Kathleen Ferguson

A Guide To Rock and Alpine plants -Ethne Clarke

These all have been helpful in their own ways. Before you start building the rock part make sure there is somewhere that has the plants you want.

And that is about the extent of my knowledge on rock gardens.

Bev, I'm so sorry about the loss of your son.....

I just wanted to say hi, and to let you know that I'm moving this post to the Landscape Trials and Triumph section where it will receive more attention.....I hope that you can make the perfect memorial for your little boy....

Laura

Hi Bev,

I lost my little boy back in 1984. I think a memorial is a wonderful idea to help deal with the pain you are experiencing. G-mom did a heart shaped bed of rain lilies in her garden and that comes to mind when you explained what you were looking for. I'm not sure if that particular plant would work on a slope but possible a different kind would in the heart shape. It's just a thought.

Hi Bev! Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry about your son...a memory garden is a great idea, and I wanted to share my ideas for the one we're planning for both of our fathers that passed away over the last couple of years.

What we did first was think of things that they liked - they both puttered in the yard, so that was pretty easy. Then we looked for plants that had their name in them "Creeping charlie" for example. May be you want to do a theme of his favorite color, if he had one. Or a child's garden, if he was young. I would start with a list of what you might like to put in the memorial garden, and then see what will fit in a rock garden if that's the direction you'd like to go in for the slope. TK was a great help to me in planning a lot of my garden - I would take her recommendations for the books she suggested too

T I'm sorry to learn you lost yours too...I had no idea.

It was a long time ago Mary. And you do move on although it takes a long time and it always leaves an emptiness.

I think your memorial garden is a great idea Bev. And Mary's idea of favorite colors or a childs garden is also very good.

I hope you find just the plants you want for your garden. Do you think you will have a water feature in that area too? A small fountain or something?

Oh I think I know where this is going

Thank you for all the suggestions - I had not thought about making it heart shaped but that sounds really nice. His favorite color was green so that gives me a lot of leeway in choosing plants. I will have to check and see if there are any plant names with "Pete" in them. I would like to decorate with things that we collected over the years like pebbles and seashells. Also a stone turtle - he always said if he could be any animal it would be a turtle because then he could carry his home with him everywhere he went.

I don't think we will do anything with water, the location doesn't lend itself to a fountain or pond. Plus we have a giant sink hole in the front yard and we would really annoy the neighbors if we added a pond without fixing the hole that fills in every rain storm Thanks again.

Bev,
I'd like to send my sincerest condolences' on your son....
But what a beautiful idea for your son.......

I would so like to see how you make out with
your project.. please post some picturess

and if you get stumped along the way,
do not hestitate to re~ask...
Always glad to help!!!!

Can you tell us some more about your yard??
And or area where you've been thinking of putting your memorial garden...????...

There's lot's of green plants...
*really need to know if your area is full sun
or shade or both and what time of day it is for them??* that will help greatly....

A rock garden is a great idea...
My dad did really big ones', 3 total, I wish soooooo bad I could put one up at the cemetary,
but can't...

Bev,

I found a few different flowers with "Pete" in the name:

Peter Pan Dwarf Lily of the Nile
Blue Peter Rhododendron
Peony - Peter Brandt
Bat-Face Cuphea, St. Peter\'s Plant
Rhododendron \'Peter Tigerstedt\'

Hope that gives you a few ideas for things you might add to your memorial garden.

Just had a little bit of an idea.......you otta try to find some evergreen plants for your zone to put in so you can see them all year round.

Oppp sorry also wanted to suggest some sedum stonecrop for the garden, Grows well in rocky areas and may make a nice dab of color depending on what type you use.

Thank you again for all the suggestions, I started planting some gifts from friends this weekend. Two butterfly bushes and a Peter Pan dwarf lily.

The space is roughly a triangle 38 feet along the top anchored by a Bonnie Butterfly bush on the right and a very large white Oak on the left. The short side of the triangle is 18 feet and is aproximately a 45 degree slope. That side is filled with two white Oaks and a large Honeysuckle. The third side is 27 feet long and has Butterfly bushes at both ends and is aprox a 20 degree slope. In between one Butterfly bush and the Honeysuckle are the stairs to the porch.

I put the Peter Pan lily at the bottom of the stairs and will fill in that area with more.

I would like to put a path from the bottom of the stairs to the backyard and that would fit along the 27 foot side. Right now it looks like two little butterfly bushes with a mess of dead grass, weeds, and some tenacious little violets in between.

I do have three large Hostas that survived the wreckage of our deck and trees and look like they could be divided (not sure how or when) and used as filler in the garden. Since it is over 90 here in Georgia I think I will wait a few weeks to do anything else.

PS I love the idea of the Bat-face Cuphea, St Peter's plant as Pete liked to dress up as St Peter for Halloween and my daughter was bitten on the face by a bat 5 years ago - so it amuses me on many levels.

PS - I forgot to mention that the triangle area gets full sun at mid-day and partial shade the rest of the day.